I come from Eudora, where everything is perfect, and no desire goes unmet. But, as the Teachings say, perfect is not the same as flawless. For there is a man, and his desires are dark indeed. When he visits a nearby cavern, he emerges taller than before, and the weak-willed now follow the stooping giant. Please, decide if Imbalance lies in the granting of wishes – if happiness needs a cure? Assume your stance, meter your breathing. It's time.
Cave of Wanders: Field Trips Are Dumb, I Want a Pizza Party
Description:
Lame! I want to play the new expansion of the Usagi CCG, but we have to go on an overnight field trip for Natural History. I almost 'lost' my permission slip just so I wouldn't have to go. We'll be panning for minerals... do you think that means gold? Oh man, if I found gold I would totally buy a million booster packs. And what if there's, like, rubies and rhinestones and jewels and stuff? We have to go on this field trip! C'mon, are you gonna?
The Man has it coming. Government sent some kind of 'special team' to Kana island, on some kind of secret mission, and now they're missing. Our contacts have gotten us picked for the search and rescue. Now's our chance. I'm sure what they've done to Kana will bring more people to our cause. Fight the power!
Jeremy's friends have found a cool new way to play their favorite game: Usagi Yojimbo. This time it's in a super-real virtual world. But something in the digital landscape has changed, and two new characters have appeared. It can't be coincidence that things in the real world started getting strange at the same time...
Crisis. Our contraptions rely on ubiquitous public steam power, but the mines are empty, and reserves are dangerously low. We've decided to send a crew of specialists into the oldest tunnels to find a new source of fuel. I see from your file you've had... pecuniary difficulties. We would be indebted to you in a... literal sense. No one remembers what those caves hold, but that's little matter for someone... such as you. Will you do it?
The children are sick, and there is death among them when the Bear comes. The women are chained to men of the earth. The men are forced to obey the will of the Gentry. It is cold, and there is no hope. There is a cave, past the warren of beasts and the labyrinth of bones, lives a Granter-of-Wishes. We who survive by daring and quickness can make of this danger an opportunity. We can save these people. So we go. Are you coming?
Ah, trusted, precious minion. I see you have returned from your duties. If only you had acted sooner, perhaps that other incident could have been... avoided. And you really are my best minion. Such a shame you have let me down so. But I have more to do, so much more. I can count on you, I know. I have divined a most auspicious location for new operations, and if only you can ... continue to provide for us.
We'll be bathing in ale and women tonight! We've all heard our fathers and their fathers before them drone on and on about the 'horrors' in that cave, but we've also seen the fat loot that they've brought back. Treasure, cool scars, and more treasure. Grab your sword and some torches. Our quest begins tonight!
Our valley is covered with ice. A great evil has settled here, and if it is not overcome it will spell the end for us all. The elders of this village have chosen you to make a plea to a divine oracle. It is said he can grant our desire and drive off this sacred beast of cold. You must win that promise from him, using whatever wiles you possess. Other villages have no doubt sent other maidens as well, so you must win his heart quickly.
Cave of Wanders: You Can't Always Get What You Want
Description:
Our network logo means 'quality,' and we've decided to confirm that perception with a miniseries on the Cave of Wanders. Everyone knows the stories, but our adaptation will be seminal. That's where you come in. This epic deserves a worthy soundtrack. We know tourist season is coming to a close and you're booked to play the Island Music Bash. Let that be your showcase of the Cave of Wanders songs you'll write. We'll be listening. What've you got?