Attention Troubleshooter - Friend Computer requires your presence at ${LOCATION} for a mandatory mission briefing. Failure to attend is treason. Treason is punishable by death.
Description:
In recognition of your loyal service to Alpha Complex, you have been promoted to Red clearance. Your new clearance entitles you to take on the crucial responsibility of a Troubleshooter, where you find trouble in Alpha Complex, and shoot it. Make sure to find, report, and eliminate any mutants or members of secret societies that you may encounter - remember, mutants and traitors may be hiding anywhere, even in your own Troubleshooting team! You have been selected to take part in a {if danger_level < 10} safe {else} *completely* safe {endif} mission. The Computer guarantees that this mission will be fun - should you ever find yourself not having fun on this mission, please report to your Happiness Officer to begin your mandatory Happiness Enhancement Protocol. No further information is available at your clearance level. All glory to Friend Computer!